Don’t. Even. Know. Where. To. Begin. With. This. One.
Approximately 50% of Google Sydney is now well aware of my situation with the Australian Government, and their inability to assign me a Tax File Number. Below is the policy surrounding tax file numbers, and why I am quite annoyed:
If you do not supply your tax file number to your payer within 28 days of commencing a new job, your payer must withhold 46.5%.
Rather than explain the inefficiencies behind their current system, a series of transcripts may better serve the purpose:
Day 1 with HR:
“Hi Ernesto, Welcome to Google. You should file for a Tax File Number asap”
“Great, will do.”
…successful completion of TFN application online
“Hi, HR, is there any reason I haven’t received my tax file number yet? It’s been a week”
“That’s strange, it usually only takes a few days”
“OK, I’ll try calling & following up”
[Abridged conversations with Australian Taxation Office]:
“Hi, I’m calling about a Tax File Number application”
“What’s your name?”
“Ernesto Soriano”
“Go again?”
“E- like elephant, R- like robert, e-like elephant’
“I’m sorry, did you say e, like epple”
“Epple? No, elephant”
…28 days later, multiple iterations of same conversation, and no TFN.
“Hi, it’s been 28 days, now what?’
“Oh, now we can begin the escalation process”
“Oh great, what does that entail?”
“What’s your surname?”
[sigh]
“S- like Sam, O- like october, R- like Robert, I- like….”
“India?”
“yea, I”
“wait, I for apple?”
[shudder]
…My case has now been escalated.
“Hello, I’m calling to check on a tax file request. It was escalated last week”
“What’s your name?”
“Echo, Romeo, November, Echo, Sierra, Tango Oscar…Sierra, Oscar, Romeo, India, Alpha, November, Oscar”
“Ah, thank you sir. I see you recently called last week?”
“Yes.”
“Just so you know, it can take 28 days from when we initiate the request.”
“Um, you said I had to wait 28 days….so that I can wait another 28 days”
“Yes.”
[biting tongue aggressively]
I therefore will not be getting my full paycheck next week, and will continue to awe the people sitting next to me with the amount of daily conversations I can have spelling my name with the naval alphabet.
On a lighter note, I saw a bunch of dolphins yesterday surfing while I was on a run. They were surfing with a lone guy in the water at shark o clock. Pretty epic scene, so I guess that’ll refresh me for a bit.
