Tokyo. Month one in the new gig and lucky enough to swing a trip for work. It’s about a 10 hour flight, and a good spot to get weird.
Author’s note: The details contained herein are true. I don’t even know if I could make this up if I wanted to.
To avoid the pitfalls of overaggressive tourism by checklist, I made an attempt to avoid the standard go-to spots in Tokyo and instead decided on a more ‘colloquial’ approach with a few locals aka newly transplanted ex-pats. This led to: facemasks, a whole tuna, do it yourself coffee, Ninjas, Kill Bill, Japanese pancakes, karaoke and a little Ricky Martin, a failed attempt at seeing a fish market, electronics, anime, and a man dressed in a frog costume delivering an elephant filled with sake carried by a toy bear (true story).
Where to begin…
1) There are facemasks everywhere in Tokyo. I thought maybe there was something wrong with the air on the plane, but it’s just something they do there I guess. I took this picture from my phone whilst queueing through disembarkation (aka waiting in line through customs) surrounded by signs that showed a picture of a cell phone with a massive X through them. I claimed language barrier difficulties and went about my day.
2) Lunch at Google Tokyo included a whole tuna being fileted and served over rice with a side of miso soup. Delicious. Also of note, they had a separate Gaijin lunch section that consisted of chicken with pasta & pasta sauce. I opted for the Tuna…which went fast.
3)Vending machines are everywhere. Someone told me it’s because they want to avoid human error when it comes to their orders (sugar in your coffe, for example), but not sure that’s true. This is how your day starts in Google Tokyo:
4) Ninjas. I don’t know why, but our dinner options for night 1 were: Ninja, Vampire, or Cannibalism. We opted for the Ninja restaurant, I think because I really just wanted to say ‘Ninja Please’ in Japansese (there’s some kind of irony in there…I think). Dinner included fire, smoke, ‘ninja magic’, and about three hours worth of random food, some shaped like ninja stars, all served with a taste of Ninja.
5) Kill Bill. Apparently we had dinner at the same place where Kill Bill was filmed. Or the same restaurant that is part of the chain where Kill Bill was filmed. Or a restaurant that looks marginally familiar to something Japanese in Kill Bill. I’m going to go ahead and say it was option 1. Thus was born ‘The Peace Treaty’. The Peace Treaty is like a Sakebomb, without the actual submersion of the shot glass (A more peaceful version, one might say). It’s a delicious mix of Sake & Kirin best served chugged.
6) Japanese Pancakes. Okonomiyaki is like the poor man’s benihana…. I guess you could say the actual Japanese man’s benihana.
It also involves what I can only imagine a ground up lugee mixed with salt & potatoes would taste like (which really isn’t all that bad).
7) Karaoke. Karaoke is legit. We went to one of the more posh karaoke places I’ve seen. All with private rooms, but all themed. I’m not sure what our theme was but it was partially decorated like a cave (note, for everyone’s sake and some people’s careers there are no videos linked in this section). I will leave you with this though: A man from our Tokyo office gave one of the finest renditions of ‘She Bangs’ I’ve seen since William Hung.
8) There is a fish market that is supposedly awesome in Tokyo that occurs around 5am each morning. I include it here as this was one thing I really wanted to do. That dream did not manifest itself into reality, mostly due to a combination of sake and karaoke. World Travel Fail. Peace Treaty Win.
9) Electronics are synonymous with Tokyo, so I made it a point to try and check out the Akihabara. Japanese folks love their electronics, and they love their anime. I’ll leave it at that.
10) I don’t really know how to describe our last night in Tokyo, but it looks like a lot of people have tried to capture the essence of Mark Kagaya.
This ‘restaurant’ is really the basement of what I think is someone’s home, with about 4 tables and pillows on the ground to sit on…real authentic like.
First, Mark Kagaya takes your drink order:
Then he brings your drinks out according to a specific presentation that you have selected.
The “Spanish” Presentation:
The “English” presentation:
With a side of Sake:
Then, you place your order by choosing from a variety of scripts. In retrospect, I’m pretty sure you get the exact same food regardless, but pay more based on which ‘option’ you choose.
The rest of the evening involved another night club, more peace treaties, and dialect that, when translated I would imagine sounded something like this:
“Excuse meeeeeee”
“Red Bull with Jager Please”
“Thank Youuuuuuu”
“Thank Youuuuuuu”
“Excuse Meeeee”
“I’m not like other foreigners”
“How so”
“I am smart and beautiful”
“Thank Youuuu”
Tokyo….Check.
There Goes Ernie 